And so it
begins...
April 18, 2013
Rewind approximately eight months ago. Our beautiful, intelligent, daughter shows up at the homestead from her out-of-state university and utters two words that changed the fabric of our lives forever. The millisecond it took for her to blurt out "I'm pregnant" took my husband and I aback and as I watched Paul's face I could see the look of heartbreak overtake his entire being. Our baby born on Christmas Eve 22 years prior was no longer the little baby we once held in our arms and was about to embark on one of the toughest yet most rewarding journeys of life. Arrangements were made for her to do her internship-her only remaining coursework required for graduation-close to home and she moved back home to receive her prenatal care and have our total support.
The past few months have not been easy with too many adults under one small roof will cause conflict from time to time.Caitlyn and I never had the Hallmark card type of mother-daughter relationship. She was daddy's princess. It killed me seeing him crushed and retreating to his garden to try to come to peace. I had to try so hard to hold my tongue...I was so afraid she would rebel against me and run. My heart was breaking and I spent many a night sobbing into my pillow. Thank goodness for God and good friends or I do not think I could have made it to this point.
Rewind approximately eight months ago. Our beautiful, intelligent, daughter shows up at the homestead from her out-of-state university and utters two words that changed the fabric of our lives forever. The millisecond it took for her to blurt out "I'm pregnant" took my husband and I aback and as I watched Paul's face I could see the look of heartbreak overtake his entire being. Our baby born on Christmas Eve 22 years prior was no longer the little baby we once held in our arms and was about to embark on one of the toughest yet most rewarding journeys of life. Arrangements were made for her to do her internship-her only remaining coursework required for graduation-close to home and she moved back home to receive her prenatal care and have our total support.
The past few months have not been easy with too many adults under one small roof will cause conflict from time to time.Caitlyn and I never had the Hallmark card type of mother-daughter relationship. She was daddy's princess. It killed me seeing him crushed and retreating to his garden to try to come to peace. I had to try so hard to hold my tongue...I was so afraid she would rebel against me and run. My heart was breaking and I spent many a night sobbing into my pillow. Thank goodness for God and good friends or I do not think I could have made it to this point.
She thinks she is an adult ready to take on the world, but Paul and I can still see too much of the little girl in pigtails, stubbornly trying to outdo her brothers in everything, even if it meant walking, climbing from her crib, and mounting the ladder up to the top bunk by the age of seven months.
Ah it is late and the alarm goes off way too early... need to do some papers and homework and finish getting ready for her baby shower this weekend. I hope writing my feelings in this blog will help me along in this complicated (a story for another blog!) journey. G'night all...
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